Answering the Call of the Heart

Brother Pháp Dung, Dharma Embrace, is a
Vietnamese American monk ordained by
Thầy in 1998. He received a professional
BA in architecture from the University of
Southern California and worked as an architect and designer for four years before
becoming a monk. He helped establish
Deer Park Monastery and many other US
centers by creating meditation programs
and retreats for children, teens, families,
and young adults as well as planning halls
and infrastructures. He was the abbot of
Deer Park Monastery from 2001 until
2010. He received the Lamp Transmission
from Thích Nhất Hạnh to become a Dharma teacher in 2004. Brother Pháp Dung is
inspired by meditation as a method of examining and cultivating the individual and
collective mind in support of community
building that heals and develops society.
The energy of meditation can support insight that
will help us to avoid othering people—different
groups, different people, and different ways.
The planet and the environment as well.
We stop seeing things as separate from us.

Now a lay Dharma teacher, Jem
offers insights from his deep
Earth-holding practice, surviving
stage four cancer, and disrobing
after eighteen years as a monk.
From out of nowhere, the question arose in me: “If
I look back at my life in ten or twenty years, will I
regret anything?” This was in 2013.
The question took me by surprise, as I was very
happy with my life. I had even told some friends recently, “I love my life.”
Since 2006, I had lived at Deer Park Monastery
where, among other things, I loved living in nature
surrounded by much undeveloped space. I was
nourished and inspired by Sangha life and our daily schedule. I had good communication and relationships with many monks, nuns, and friends. In
2010 I received the Dharma Lamp Transmission,
which had given me an indescribable boost of energy and empowerment. As a Dharma teacher and
acting abbot, I had plenty of opportunity to practice, grow, and offer my gifts. My engagement with
the Wake Up community, including organizing and
participating in Wake Up tours in 2011 and 2012,
was especially nourishing.
My question arose from consciousness, from
my deep heart and volition: If I look back at my life
in ten or twenty years, will I regret anything? The
Answering the Call
of the Heart
J E M

answer was clear and immediate: I want to find a
way to bring our mindfulness practice to climate
change.
Since childhood, I enjoyed taking refuge in
nature; I always felt most content and connected
while roaming in meadows, forests, and rocky hills
or sitting by a creek. I heard Thầy’s teaching during
his 2007 US tour (which resulted in his book The
World We Have) and I had been touched by the energy and inspiration arising in the Sangha around
a vegan diet, consuming less, car-free days, alternatively fueled cars, solar panels, and more. At
that time, though, I had limited energy; I still needed to deepen my personal practice and take care
of deep wounds and suffering. Nevertheless, I was
profoundly affected by the way Thầy so openly,
plainly, and strongly presented both the reports
from the United Nations concerning pollution and
the unsustainability of raising animals for food. He
offered us all encouragement to consume less and
to touch our interbeing nature with Mother Earth
and life itself.
Through years of practice and community living, I had come to trust that when conditions are
sufficient, manifestation happens. My question
and answer had not arisen out of the blue; there
were plenty of conditions.
When I shared with the Dharma teachers that
I wanted to start a blog Earth Protection Here &
Now,1 there was full support. I set up a free WordWalking at Mundekulla;

press blog with much confidence and humility. I
am not a biologist, climate expert, or activist. I am
simply a human who sees the need for understanding our interconnectedness to all of life and to the
Earth. I saw climate change as a catalyst for personal and collective healing and transformation.
When we start sharing, some will hear. Person
by person, the lay Sanghas in the United States
started to contact me. Of course, I was not the
only one aspiring to apply mindfulness to climate
change. When I started sharing in a blog, I had not
planned for the theme weekend at Deer Park in
2014 or for the Earth Holder Retreats in 2016 at Deer
Park, 2017 in New Mexico, 2018 in Minnesota, and
2020 at Deer Park. During the US tour of 2015, a real
website emerged and an Earth Holder Care-Taking
Council followed. The Sangha body made this happen. Aspiration sprouted and friendships were built
and deepened.
At the end of the theme weekend in 2014, I had
tea and sharing with Nomi Green and Heather Lyn
Mann, both of whom were involved and instrumental during the retreats to follow. Dharma teacher
Lyn Fine also joined us. At one point in our sharing,
it became clear to me that our engagement must
come from love, not fear, and from togetherness,
not separation. We must be aimless and diligent.
For me this is still so important. It is a compass
for my life, practice, and service.
I have drawn much nourishment and support
in my Earth Holder engagement from the writings of
Joanna Macy and David Korten. Among many other
insights they share are the possibilities of the Great
Unraveling or the Great Turning. I have learned that
it isn’t one or the other. My understanding of suffering/ill-being and happiness/well-being keeps
deepening over the years. I left monastic life in part
because of deep personal suffering that had not
been able to be transformed. Since then, I have
at times had support from healers and alternative
therapists during the last three years. This support
has helped me embrace that which I had unknowingly been ashamed of or not felt safe enough to
meet head on. In the light of interbeing and personal experience, it is clearer to me now that for a Great
Turning to happen, there have to be unravelings.
Earth Holders Retreat, Deer Park
Monastery, April 2014;

Many times, Thầy referred to the Sutra on the
Diamond that Cuts Through Illusion as the earliest
text on deep ecology. There are a couple of insights
in this amazing teaching that always strike me in a
pleasant and clarifying way. One aspect that is so
helpful in all kinds of engagement is “Bodhisattvas
practice generosity without relying on form.” This
shows me how to be free from a separate self that
gives and hopes for rewards or certain outcomes. It
also draws me into the emptiness of transmission:
the giver, the gift, and the receiver arise together;
they cannot be separated. To stop and listen within, and to discern whether I am able to engage
from this alignment of reality is often sobering and
humbling, but also valuable and helpful.
I remember becoming so happy the day I heard
the term Earthlings, which refers to humans, animals, plants, and all organic living things on this
planet. This term helped me see limited views and
attachment to being a human being. There is so
much collective baggage of superiority about being human—a beautiful manifestation and a wondrous possibility for spiritual growth for sure. The
teaching in the Diamond Sutra asks us to consider
if we are limited to or caught in views of a self, a
person (human), a living being, or a life span. I like
the guided meditation lines: “Aware of life inside
and around me / Smiling to life inside and around
me.” Life is not bound by birth and death, is not
bound to matter. For me, Life is another word for
the ultimate, for God, for Love.
My path of engagement has naturally changed
over the years. One big shift was a diagnosis of
stage four malignant melanoma cancer, which
I received on the arrival day of the Earth Holder
Retreat in Minnesota, US, August 2018. I chose to
focus my energy, of which I had much less than
usual, on the retreat. I shared about the diagnosis
with only one brother, a day after I had heard. His
long hug and whisper “You are strong, you’ll be
I remember becoming so happy the day I heard the term
Earthlings, which refers to humans, animals, plants, and all
organic living things on this planet. This term helped me see
limited views and attachment to being a human being.
Can I see myself in the leaves, in the wind?
When the earth, water, and air are polluted,
of course, so am I.

okay,” helped me to let go, to feel supported, and
to follow through with the retreat. In me I heard:
Can I see myself in the leaves, in the wind? When the
earth, water, and air are polluted, of course, so am
I. I felt acceptance for this surprising and urgent
unravelling.
A humbling insight from my time of sickness
is that I had not found inner sustainability. Year by
year my energy and capacity had grown, but so too
had my responsibilities and engagements. I had
confidence in my capacity to renew, to recharge,
and to recuperate. But because I was not as generous with myself as I was with others and the Sangha, I did not have much energy in store, and this
contributed to a dire health situation. Today, looking back, I see the gifts that have followed. So how
can I say lucky or unlucky, right or wrong?
In my weakest moment during the cancer
treatment, I asked myself, If this is it, am I ready
to let go? I experienced light and clarity, knowing
death is not the end and nothing is truly lost. There
was a clear Yes, I can let go, but I knew it was not
the time.
Several people around me at that time said it
was a miracle I survived. When I sat and breathed
hour after hour in a garden recliner chair in my
room, deep suffering arose. I just noticed and
promised myself to take this call seriously, if and
when health would allow. What came up was
shame of being weak and vulnerable as a child,
and not accepting the way I had faced challenging
situations. I was not free. A longing for a romantic relationship also made itself known. To live
and serve in Sweden, my home country, was also
a clear call in my deep, wise heart. Not to answer
these calls could not lead to a happy, loving, and
free life.
So in August 2020, I disrobed. This meant leaving eighteen years as a monk in the Plum Village
Sangha, which I treasure and love dearly. My last
resistance was loyalty toward my teacher. I know,
though, that I am a continuation of Thầy and that
my teacher wants me to rely on internal love and
understanding, on the inner teacher. With this
knowledge, I could answer the call of my heart yet
again and take a step.
In June 2023, I will return to a Plum Village
practice center for the first time since leaving Deer
Park in March 2020. Thanks to the “Love Is Freedom” Earth Retreat, everything fell into place. Life
changes and continues. Maybe our paths will cross
again.
In love and gratitude,
– Jem (Chân Pháp Hộ)
1 After the Bodhisattva Dharanimdhara, the one
who holds and protects the Earth, that makes bridges,
overcomes gaps and brings about connection and
communication.